diff --git a/helpcommand.txt b/helpcommand.txt
index 0322fd7..e6e5772 100644
--- a/helpcommand.txt
+++ b/helpcommand.txt
@@ -15,4 +15,6 @@
 **!earth** or **!earthporn**: Posts a random submission from /r/EarthPorn's top this week
 **!porn**: Posts a random link from one of the 'porn' subreddits (not actually NSFW)
 **!kill** or **!restart**: Kill the bot process so that it can automatically restart with the new version (only pocketjawa can use these)
-**!joke**: Posts a random joke from /r/Jokes
\ No newline at end of file
+**!joke**: Posts a random joke from /r/Jokes
+**!8ball**: You ask a question, it answeres. Simple!
+**!conch** or **!magicconch**: Same as the 8ball command but waaaaay cooler
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/lists/8ball_responses.txt b/lists/8ball_responses.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..075de33
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lists/8ball_responses.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+It is certain
+It is decidedly so
+Without a doubt
+Yes definitely
+You may rely on it
+As I see it, yes
+Most likely
+Outlook good
+Yes
+Signs point to yes
+Reply hazy try again
+Ask again later
+Better not tell you now
+Cannot predict now
+Concentrate and ask again
+Don't count on it
+My reply is no
+My sources say no
+Outlook not so good
+Very doubtful
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/pocketbot.py b/pocketbot.py
index eea33c4..299c8ca 100644
--- a/pocketbot.py
+++ b/pocketbot.py
@@ -156,6 +156,26 @@ def on_message(message):
         jokemsg = jokesr.title + '\n\n' + jokesr.selftext
         yield from client.send_message(message.channel, jokemsg)
 
+    #Magic 8-ball simulator 2017
+    elif message.content.lower().startswith('!8ball'):
+        ball_response_file = open("/srv/discord-pocketbot/lists/8ball_responses.txt", "r")
+        ball_responses = ball_response_file.read().split('\n')
+        args = message.content.partition(' ')[2]
+        if (args is ''):
+            yield from client.send_message(message.channel, 'Please include a question for me to answer. I\'m not _that_ psychic...')
+        else:
+            yield from client.send_message(message.channel, 'The Magic 8-ball says... ' + random.choice(ball_responses))
+
+    #Magic Conch Shell simulator 2002 (way cooler than that lame "Magic" 8-ball)
+    elif message.content.lower().startswith('!conch') or message.content.lower().startswith('!magicconch'):
+        ball_response_file = open("/srv/discord-pocketbot/lists/8ball_responses.txt", "r")
+        ball_responses = ball_response_file.read().split('\n')
+        args = message.content.partition(' ')[2]
+        if (args is ''):
+            yield from client.send_message(message.channel, 'Please include a question for me to answer. I\'m not _that_ psychic...')
+        else:
+            yield from client.send_message(message.channel, 'The Magic Conch Shell says... ' + random.choice(ball_responses))
+
 
 client.loop.create_task(ups_check())
 client.run(token)
\ No newline at end of file